Twenty-Third Flare - Text - Regrets
Jul. 4th, 2011 02:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
prominence_glow[After hours of hiding and recovering from the aftermath of what the Madness had done to him, Lea had realized that he couldn't just hide in a greenhouse forever. He's done horrible things, whether he was in control of his own actions or not, and he needed to make amends as soon as possible.
It's taken him a long time to write this apology, having to stop when the feelings of guilt and self hatred had gotten to be too much and he'd broken down for awhile. Then he'd reread it, again and again and again. It's taken even longer just to get himself to send it.
But he can't back down now.]
I messed up. I know I did, in a whole lot of ways. A lot of you probably hate me for the things I did last week, and I can't blame you. It would be stupid to ask for forgiveness after all the things I did. So I won't.
But I will say I'm sorry. It's something I can't say enough. It's not nearly enough, but it's all I can say right now. If I hurt you in any way at all, tell me and I'll do my best to make things right. It wouldn't be right for me to just sit around doing nothing after all the horrible things I did.
[Private to Demyx and Isa]
I hurt you two the most of all. If you want nothing more to ever do with me, I won't say a word against it. I made a promise to make sure the two of you would be happy and that I wouldn't start any more fights. Even if it was the fault of a curse, it's not excuse. Promises are supposed to be kept.
You don't owe me another chance or anything. You deserve so much better. But if there's anything I can do to make it up to you and earn your guys' trust back, I'd do it. Anything at all.
[Private to Demyx]
I was a lying idiot who didn't know where his own ass was. I did want and need you, and I still do. I should never have said the things I did wwhen you got it back.. I can't say sorry enouugh.
[Private to Ao]
I looked back through my SFC. I'm pretty sure you're one of the people I hurt. If there's anything the fire took that you haven't been able to get, I'll try and figure out a way to replace it and have it sent to you. You probably don't even want to see my face after what happened, so I'll make sure to deliver it. I'm really sorry.
[Private to Adachi]
I looked back through my SFC. I think I destroyed your apartment. I'm sorry you had to deal with all of that. If there's anything you lost when that happened and haven't been able to get yet, I'll do my best to get it replaced. It's not enough, but it's the first thing I think I should do.
[Private to Axel]
You were right. Also, how I acted back then wasn't like you at all. That was something horrible and disgusting. You're a lot better than any of that. I'm sorry I tried to kill you and Riku.
[Private to the Host Club]
I won't be able to come in for a long time, I think. I'm really sorry.
[Private to Stein]
I think I understand a part of the reason why you were worried about me being your morail. Whatever I was, I could see souls, but it felt both really horrible and something else, too. Is that how it is for you all the time? Trying to keep control of that feeling?
-Lea
It's taken him a long time to write this apology, having to stop when the feelings of guilt and self hatred had gotten to be too much and he'd broken down for awhile. Then he'd reread it, again and again and again. It's taken even longer just to get himself to send it.
But he can't back down now.]
I messed up. I know I did, in a whole lot of ways. A lot of you probably hate me for the things I did last week, and I can't blame you. It would be stupid to ask for forgiveness after all the things I did. So I won't.
But I will say I'm sorry. It's something I can't say enough. It's not nearly enough, but it's all I can say right now. If I hurt you in any way at all, tell me and I'll do my best to make things right. It wouldn't be right for me to just sit around doing nothing after all the horrible things I did.
[Private to Demyx and Isa]
I hurt you two the most of all. If you want nothing more to ever do with me, I won't say a word against it. I made a promise to make sure the two of you would be happy and that I wouldn't start any more fights. Even if it was the fault of a curse, it's not excuse. Promises are supposed to be kept.
You don't owe me another chance or anything. You deserve so much better. But if there's anything I can do to make it up to you and earn your guys' trust back, I'd do it. Anything at all.
[Private to Demyx]
I was a lying idiot who didn't know where his own ass was. I did want and need you, and I still do. I should never have said the things I did wwhen you got it back.. I can't say sorry enouugh.
[Private to Ao]
I looked back through my SFC. I'm pretty sure you're one of the people I hurt. If there's anything the fire took that you haven't been able to get, I'll try and figure out a way to replace it and have it sent to you. You probably don't even want to see my face after what happened, so I'll make sure to deliver it. I'm really sorry.
[Private to Adachi]
I looked back through my SFC. I think I destroyed your apartment. I'm sorry you had to deal with all of that. If there's anything you lost when that happened and haven't been able to get yet, I'll do my best to get it replaced. It's not enough, but it's the first thing I think I should do.
[Private to Axel]
You were right. Also, how I acted back then wasn't like you at all. That was something horrible and disgusting. You're a lot better than any of that. I'm sorry I tried to kill you and Riku.
[Private to the Host Club]
I won't be able to come in for a long time, I think. I'm really sorry.
[Private to Stein]
I think I understand a part of the reason why you were worried about me being your morail. Whatever I was, I could see souls, but it felt both really horrible and something else, too. Is that how it is for you all the time? Trying to keep control of that feeling?
-Lea
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
[text] - I'm so sorry 8'(
Date: 2011-07-04 11:41 am (UTC)[text] wth, I just thought before I came on "WOULDN'T IT BE FUNNY IF VRISKA REPLIED"
Date: 2011-07-04 03:15 pm (UTC)[Sorry, Vriska, Lea is far too emotionally drained to be his usual ragey self.]
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Date: 2011-07-04 12:44 pm (UTC)[she wants nothing to do with you at all, Lea. w-whoops :c]
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Date: 2011-07-04 03:16 pm (UTC)text, filtered; s-sob so much tl;dr .A. /wibbled while writing
Date: 2011-07-04 01:34 pm (UTC)[Is this really Demyx using punctuation? Uh oh.]
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Date: 2011-07-04 03:20 pm (UTC)text; filtered
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Date: 2011-07-04 04:28 pm (UTC)[After a few seconds of silence since after all he was the only one who actually was nice to her, she allows her voice to slightly soften.]
What did you do?
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Date: 2011-07-04 04:48 pm (UTC)[He doesn't want to talk about it. He really doesn't. But even if he doesn't say anything, he figures someone else might. So give him a few minutes to sort this all out.]
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Date: 2011-07-04 04:34 pm (UTC)[ private | text ]
Date: 2011-07-04 04:49 pm (UTC)[Seriously, he's on the verge of crying again and he thought he was all out of tears. Such a good sempai.]
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Date: 2011-07-04 08:22 pm (UTC)[text; private]
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From:[video; private] what is continuity even WHAT IS VIDEO
From:[video; private] LMAO
From:[video; private] Just close your eyes. It was all a dream
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Date: 2011-07-04 09:02 pm (UTC)Though, I usually have better control over it.[text;private]
Date: 2011-07-04 09:07 pm (UTC)[text//private]
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Date: 2011-07-04 11:40 pm (UTC)I UnDeRsTaNd.
ShIt's uNrEaL, yEaH?
It dOn't lEaVe yOu. EvEr.
BuT YoU CaN FiX It, MoThErFuCkEr.
YoU JuSt aLl gOtTa fUcKiN WoRk aT It.
WoRk sO FuCkIn hArD LiKe yOu aIn't eVeR DoNe wOrKeD At nOtHiNg bEfOrE.
AnD It wIlL Be oKaY In tHe eNd.
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Date: 2011-07-05 04:44 am (UTC)[He's basically saying "don't worry, I don't hate you. Even if you wanted to kill me while I was a defenseless pony :|a"]
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Date: 2011-07-05 05:00 am (UTC)[Oh god, all the people's wronged. He's losing track of them all, mostly because madness fails at keeping the memory working. But... Wait, this is the guy who he wanted to tear out his pony tongue. Ohgod.]
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Date: 2011-07-05 01:43 pm (UTC)Text//Private
Date: 2011-07-05 02:55 pm (UTC)Text//Private
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From:Text//Private ...I need so many facepalm icons for this conversation.
From:Text//Private | you love him!
From:Text//Private | liiiiies all lies
From:Text//Private | you'll break his heart
From:Text//Private | I thought he kept that in a jar
From:Text//Private | The jar is breakable!
From:Text//Private | He needs to invest in better jars
From:Text//Private | He doesn't get paid very well.
From:Text//Private | This is what happens when you work in an organization like that
From:Text//Private | No holidays either, man. It's harsh.
From:Text//Private | Poor poor baby.
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Date: 2011-07-05 04:13 pm (UTC)[Text]
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